The most common comment I’ve heard since beginning boudoir is bullshit. Absolute bullshit.
“I could never do that.”
1. I’m too fat
2. I’m not pretty enough
3. Who would I give them to?
4. I just need to lose X pounds
5. I’m too nervous about having my picture taken.
Umm, ‘scuse me?
First off - please. Puh-leeeze.
I remember doing my first model call/plus size shoot back in September and this girl killed it. I remember her saying the entire time that if you have a body, then it’s a body that’s just fine for boudoir.
It’s only skin. You’re only letting yourself feel ashamed/embarrassed/scared because somewhere along the line you let some asshat feed your insecurities and their pettiness. Got ass? Great. Thunder thighs? Awesome. A cups or DD’s? Super. Stretch marks or scars? That’s cool; me too.
Bodies change and grow. They got you to where you are today. And do you know whats gonna happen when it clicks that you’re way hotter than you thought? You’ll be feeling comfortable with yourself while that same asshat is pouting in the corner with a shitty attitude.
So #1 - no, you’re not too fat.
Ahh, numero 2. First off, who the hell told you you weren’t pretty enough? Pretty enough for what? Want me to beat them up?
Know what I’ve been doing the last few months? Not wearing makeup. Yup, I have given zero fucks about painting my face to be seen in public. If my dark eyes or freckles offend you so greatly that you have to tell someone about it, buddy you’ve got bigger problems.
I was recently in a checkout with some Nanaimo bars for a family get together. There was an older woman ahead of me, and a woman in her mid 50’s behind the cash. They were waiting for the debit machine to work and saw the bars while they were making small talk. They both quickly commented on how good they looked and that they probably tasted even better.
I joked saying ‘I’ll let you know when I rip one open’. They both gasped (the older woman even clutched her chest - dramatic much?) and told me they could never indulge because “a moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips”.
You, my lovelies, are exactly what’s wrong with girls.
Hungry? Let’s eat. Thirsty? Have that venti grande mocha latte what the fuck ever with extra calories.
Stop shaming people or just as bad; denying yourself because it might offend someone else’s view of your body.
Know what’s sexy? Personality. Confidence. Know what’s nasty af? Judgemental, hateful dicks.
Anywho, circling back to #3. Why do you think you need to have someone to share these images with? Why can’t you enjoy yourself by yourself? If you’re single do you stop cooking or eating because you have nobody else to feed? Do you stop watching tv or movies because there’s nobody there to watch them with? I won’t EVEN get on that soapbox right now cause God knows I have enough material to cover the #foreveralone topic for YEARS. 😂
YOU can enjoy these for YOU. By YOU. I have yet to have a client (male or female) tell me after seeing their galleries that they aren’t satisfied. Not one. Every single one is shocked, impressed, and in love with themselves. Know what else? A good chunk of these clients are single.
So do you. Keep ‘em hidden in your camera roll, put them on your wall or use them for your Tinder or Fetlife profile. That’s your call. Just as long as you see how friggin gorgeous you are.
When I had headshots done for my last “real” job, I cried for 2 days after. Not just upset; I full on ugly cried every single time I thought about it. I have days where I can’t stand the way I look, and days I could selfie till sunset. So believe me when I say ‘I get it’.
It’s nerve wracking. And while I can’t be your life coach through a single post, I can tell you that from my experience I was terrified of the photographer judging me when I had mine done. I was embarrassed that she (a gorgeous bubbly blonde) was staring right through the camera and picking apart my flaws. Running a list of what I could change or fix about myself through her pretty perfect head. But you know what? After spending some serious time behind the camera, I can safely say that that is the absolute last thing I have ever done. I have never once took a photo and thought to myself ‘ohh, if only she would wear more or less makeup’...
What DOES run through my mind and what I’m thinking of the entire process is how unreal you look. How the shadows or light are complimenting you, and how good you look. And I’ll tell you that. It’s not uncommon for me to squeal and scream “Holy fuck! These are sooooo good!!”.
I’ve actually decided to redo said headshots and try my hand at professional selfies (is that even a thing?). And I’m already nervous. Me and a camera...and I’m procrastinating.
It’s normal. Frankly if you hopped in front of the camera and weren’t nervous or awkward, it wouldn’t be as fun. Own your awkwardness; I’ll give you some direction and we’ll both snort laugh and cry over the whole thing. Promise.
Believe it or not this started out as a post about a collection I’ve been working on called ‘Everyday Boudoir’.
These women were told not to go out of their way to do their hair or makeup. To just look like they did on a Tuesday afternoon. They did - and every single one of them killed it.
There was no studio lighting, no stylists. I didn’t even have a clue about what their homes looked like until I showed up to shoot with them. These are to show you that you absolutely do not need to lose 10 lbs or have your eyelashes done to have your picture taken.
You can’t look at any of these photos and tell me they’re not smoke-shows?! I know.
I’ll venture into more detail with each lady, but for now here’s a few of my faves.
And if you made it this far, thanks for also being bored on a Tuesday afternoon 💋😜